Will this Roller Coaster Ever Stop?

So the past 2 months (and really the past couple of years) have really been a roller coaster of emotions and events. Some of you know all the details, some of you know a few of the details, and some of you know barely anything at all. How much you know is not that important, it is just important to us that you keep us and our family in your prayers. I just wanted to share a song that has become important to me and that I have been singing over and over the past several weeks. Its by Mikeschair called "Let the waters rise". I hope it will bless you too!

Don't know where to begin
It's like my world's caving in
And i try but I can't control my fear
Where do I go from here?

Sometimes its so hard to pray
When you feel so far away
but I'm willing to go where You want me to
God I trust You

There's a raging sea right in front of me
Wants to pull me in, bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise if You want them to
I will follow You, I will follow You

I will swim in the deep
'cause You'll be next to me
Your in the eye of the storm
and the calm of the sea
You're never out of reach

God You know where I've been
You were there with me then
You've been faithful before
You'll be faithful again
I'm holding Your hand

There's a raging sea right in front of me
Wants to pull me in, bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise if You want them to
I will follow You, I will follow You

God Your love is enough
You will pull me through
I'm holding onto you
God Your love is enough
I will follow You, I will follow you!!!

Regardless of how Bobby and I have felt and will feel, we know that Our God is Mighty to Save and He never changes. Our purpose here is to live to glorify Him and we are living examples of striving to do this even though we daily fail.

If we happen to come to your mind, we only ask that you lift us up to the Father. This journey that we are on has turned out to look different than we ever expected, but God is still God, He is still on His throne, and He is ALWAYS in control!

~Julie

Two Months Later And....

...We still aren't licensed...

After the events of the previous post, the staff at our agency decided it would be beneficial for us to take some proactive steps to make the placement process easier in the future. Given my personal and family background, the staff recommended that we talk with a counselor.

Some of you might remember the events that marked the ending of our brief journey with Buckner. They also recommended counseling, but never gave us a chance to actually go through it while being a part of their program. Covenant Kids asked us to take this step in order to answer CPS inevitable concerns. Rather than deal with the speculation at each placement opportunity, Covenant Kids can now show CPS that we have sought professional insight into our backgrounds and family.

We started seeing a counselor in late February. After completing four sessions, it was confirmed that God is a mighty God who can take the disaster that was my life and turn it into something marvelously blessed. After completing the sessions we were excited to finally get licensed, thinking that the recommendation from the counselor was all we lacked.

That assumption was incorrect.

It turns out we lacked four fairly simple pieces of information. Three of those items we were able to fax in almost immediately. The one final piece of the puzzle that still eludes us is the blasted fire inspection. At least half a dozen requests have been made to the county over the last 5 months, but no one has ever made it to our home. Last Thursday, we actually had an inspection scheduled, but then the three surrounding counties went up in flames so the Fire Marshall was busy with more weighty matters than whether or not we have outlet covers.

The earliest we can be licensed is Monday, April 20 because the family services coordinator is out of the office until then. We are praying that we can get an inspection done this week and that there aren't any more lingering paperwork issues.

I won't lie. I have battled some bouts of frustration with the developments of the last week or so. My excitement about getting started taking care of kids who desperately need a home were temporarily doused by paperwork delays that probably should have been caught back in February. Julie keeps telling me not to get so worked up about it. She makes it sound so easy.

Nevertheless, we press on. Please pray for us. We (meaning mostly me) need patience, wisdom, and humility. We'll see what Monday holds.

Prayer Request -- Possible Placement

I talked with our agency this morning regarding a few final questions before our homestudy is finalized. At the end of the conversation he let me know about a possible situation that he thought we would be perfect for. I can't give you too many details, but here are the basics.

There's a 3 year old in foster care who has a sibling due any day now. CPS is looking to place them both in an adoption motivated home.

There are absolutely not guarantees. All we are asking is that you pray -- a lot! We want God's will to be known and done. So, here are some specific things to pray for.

-- The soon-to-be-born baby make it into this world safely.
-- A home is found for these two children (even if it's not our home).
-- Julie and I correctly discern what role, if any, we are to play these two little lives.

Thanks. We love you guys. We will keep you updated.

Bobby

We are getting closer...

Ok, I know, its been like a month since we updated this thing, but we really had nothing to update. We really are getting very close to being licensed. Our homestudy is complete and has been submitted for final review. I am anticipating this will be in the next week or so. After we are licensed, it will just be a matter of waiting for a child to be placed with us. It could be the day after we are licensed, or it could be 3 months from now, we just have to leave that up to God and His perfect timing.

Our Sunday School class has started studying James. We are just going through it chapter by chapter. Let me just say, the first chapter always kicks me in the rear. (Especially the first 3-4 verses.) I always try and be aware that my hard times can and will be used for Gods glory, but most of the time I choose not to be joyful at the time. Why is that so hard? I tend to find myself mad at God and then frustrated with myself for being mad at God. Eventually I get around to understanding that God is strengthening my faith and growing my endurance, but why does it take so long for me to get there?

God,
Help me to trust you fully. Thank you for the trials that You bring forth in my life. I know and trust that You are using them for Your glory. Be with the child/children that You are going to bring into our lives. Help them to be safe and to know that they are loved by You and by us.
Julie

Update

Just wanted to let everyone know that CK is coming to do our homestudy on Monday. YEA!!! Hopefully we will be licensed in January and then the waiting begins...

This has been kind of a crazy couple of weeks. This week there are going to be two huge funerals at our church plus a night of visitation. On Saturday we have a church work day to clean/organize some things that have been neglected. Sunday is always busy, but this one is particularly so, we have our children's Christmas play that morning, our church wide Christmas lunch that afternoon, followed by the community wide lighting of the park. And then Monday is our home study. (Am I crazy?)

I still have a few things to take care of around the house to be ready for our homestudy, but I don't think a lot. Bobby put in the tot locks already this week. I just have to go through the fridge, pantry, and medicine cabinet and make sure nothing is expired, etc. Bobby also has to go through the garage and move some stuff to the shed so it can be locked up. So I should probably get started on some of that and not be sitting here blogging. :)

Lord,
I'm choosing to give you my heart and my emotions today, please help me remember to do so tomorrow and every day that comes my way. Be with our child who is out there somewhere. Protect them let them know that they are loved even though we are not there to show them yet. Bless their family and lead them into a relationship with you. Help me to trust you more and even when I feel like You don't know what You are doing, give me faith.
Julie

Organization!!!

I just wanted to brag on myself a little... I finally got our paperwork organized. I think that is the number one reason that I was stressed out. I sat down for a couple of hours yesterday afternoon and took all of the forms, etc, out of the giant folder that they are in and went to sorting and organizing in a way that makes sense to me. It took about 15 paperclips, and lots of sticky notes, but its not as overwhelming now. Bobby will probably laugh at me, but for me it was a great day. I love it when things are organized!!! (He just can't touch it now, unless he figures out my system first! :))

Week One Down

Well, the first week of two crazy weeks of training is over. It was a long week, but I think we came away with lots of really good information. Some of it was repetitive, but I think we can all learn from things even things we have been taught or knew before.

I feel like I am drowning in paperwork again. I know it is just part of the process, but it makes me really stressed. I had finally felt a little destressed after getting all of our Buckner paperwork done, and now I am back at square one. Little by little, I know it will all get finished and I will feel good when it is, but for now its just overwhelming again.

Keep praying for us. We are still trying to discern where God wants us to go, do, and be.

Julie